There is a calm . . .

For more than a year, my life has been a roller coaster ride (I hate roller coasters). There have been very low dips and very high loops and turns.

I started reading "Divorce Hangover, A Successful Strategy to End the Emotional Aftermath of Divorce." I'm only about half way through it, but so far it has confirmed that what I've been feeling and experiencing is normal!

This whole process of healing has been quite an eye opener. I have been able to step back and look at things as an observer rather than a participant. I have been able to see things in a new light, and in doing so, I have been able to achieve a calm that I haven't felt in decades, if ever.

I can see the mistakes we both made in our relationship, and I can also see how others have played pivotal roles in my life and in our life as a couple.

Today is the sixth anniversary of my step-father's passing. I've been thinking about him today and looking at the life he lead. I can see parallels between him and my husband, and although there were distinct differences between the two men, there were many similarities.

My step-father stayed in a relationship that wasn't all together happy, but I think he got something that he needed from the relationship. My husband chose to leave, in search of greener pastures, but I hope that he, too, got something good from our relationship. Which man made the right choice? Maybe they both did. We all have to find the strength to do what's best for our own individual needs and well being.

I miss these two men who played such major roles in my life, and I wish happiness for them both.