Two hours later . . .

I thought I was going to make a quick call to my banking institute to make arrangements to have IRA's and mutual funds transfered from one broker to another. What I learned was that there are no quick calls when accounts and money are concerned, and I think my brain has been on vacation for the last fifteen years or so.

Before I got married I was a business executive. I kept track of hundreds of thousands of dollars, knowing what inventory was bought and sold, what percentage of markup was assigned to items and what the profit margins were.

Because I had the business background, I naturally took over the family finances. I took care of the debt that came with my husband, and kept track of the monthly spending. This was short lived. After paying off debt several times, my husband continued to create debt and, after a while I got tired of making calls to my broker asking for money to pay down bills. I told my husband that he could take over the finances.

Although it released me from the daily money worries, I am now discovering that it was a very foolish move on my part. I never paid much attention to where money was or even how much we had. I kept an eye on what was left of my investments, but other than that, I left the majority of the responsibility to my husband. He became very responsible with his finances. He got us out of debt - again, and I was feeling comfortable that we were financially secure.

Now that we are separated and I am having to take over the mortgage, car payment, daily living expense and my own investments, I am finding out that my financial savvy is very rusty, and I'm feeling terribly unsure and insecure about what I'm doing.

I know that it is going to work out in the end, and I will get my footing back, but my lesson in all of this is that I should never have given up my independence and become so reliant on someone else. It was very, very foolish of me to have gotten complacent and let someone else make financial decisions that concerned my daughter and myself.

There are no guarantees, especially where relationships are concerned. Never again will I relinquish my independence and financial decision making powers.

"I Am Woman, Hear Me Roar!!!"