TUESDAY, JULY 3, 2012
Where does time go? I can't believe
that it is already the 184 day of the year - the halfway point for 2012.
July marks nine months since my husband returned from the
Middle East and our life started its turn in an unwelcome and unfamiliar
direction. When things are unhappy and
painful, nine months can seem like a long time.
This month, my husband
and I will mark (separately) our final anniversary as a married couple.
In August our child will return to school to begin her
junior year, and we will celebrate her twentieth birthday. My husband will
leave for the south to finish his last two years as a member of the Armed
Forces, and I will be looking at my options for starting a new career.
The three of us are all handling this new reality in
different ways. I have been extremely emotional, incredibly angry,
uncontrollably sad, and afraid of the unknown that is right around the corner.
Our daughter has felt as though she has been put in the
middle of the situation, and has been very uncomfortable with my emotions and
anger. Not knowing what to do with her own feelings, she has had outburst of
anger, but then quickly apologizes. She has been very protective of me, but
would prefer not to be involved.
My husband has removed himself from the chaos he has
created, and has begun his life as a single man. He has been taking care of his
own needs and feelings, and acting as though there is no family that he is
leaving behind.
I am puzzled and intrigued by the ease of my
husband's ability to wash his hands of his family, and move on. Will we all be
able to do that?
I can't help but wonder where we will all be this time next
year.
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