I have been away from the blogosphere for far too long, and I apologize, but I have had a few setbacks in the process of my personal healing.
About a month ago I got a case of sciatica that just knocked the wind out of me. Pain doesn't usually slow me down, but this stopped me in my tracks. I went to my primary care provider and his solution to my back, hip and thigh pain was to send me to a podiatrist - - REALLY??
I found a wonderful Chiropractor who has brought me back from the unrelenting pain, but unfortunately, my insurance doesn't cover chiropractic care, so now the pain is in my bank account - - sigh!
That was just the beginning of my current journey. My next hurdle was a bit more tragic in nature, and it was at this point that I came to realize how I had been putting my energy and well being into the wrong hands for a very long time. The ones who truly love and care for me, I was keeping at a safe distance, not letting them into my private world for fear - - fear of what I'm not sure. Possibly disapproval or rejection, or the false belief that I was doing it for my family.
My fear has been unfounded, because I have been introduced to the people who really care, and who really are there when I need them the most. These aren't new people to my life. They have been there, just waiting for me to see the light.
Forgive me for being so selfish and unwilling to share myself completely, but I think I'm on the road to awareness and sharing. For those of you who have reached out to me since my world turned upside down, thank you. If I haven't reached back yet, I'm sorry, but I'm on my way. Please keep your hands extended because I need them more than you know!
Oh, Eva! How brave you are to write so openly and vulnerably as you have...no need to share completely in a blog. I'm glad that you are finding your way. It can be hard knowing who to trust, as I learned in my 20s as a Navy wife. I hope these caring people will help you in ways you can't imagine.
ReplyDeleteAs for the pain of sciatica, I've been there (although not the sciatic nerve, but the same outrageous pain) and paid out of pocket for chiropractic care for a year. I also did physical therapy three times a week for many weeks, then two times a week. I still do those exercises 3 times a week, most weeks, alternating with walking on the treadmill to keep my legs (and heart) strong.
Good luck to you as you continue your journey. Keep us posted.
Thank you! You are a wonderful supporter!!!
ReplyDeleteI visit my friend the chiropractor today. He promises to teach me exercises that I can do to help, but we aren't there yet. I was stretching when things were really bad, and he said that I may have made it worse. I was in a hurry when my nerve wasn't ready.
xoxo